Late this afternoon, John McCain will at last —at long last— stride onstage at the Ed Sullivan Theater, acknowledge the applause, shake hands with the host, and sit down in the guest chair. The first order of business will be taking his medicine from David Letterman for last month’s notoriously canceled gig. Depending on how that goes, the Senator can start trying to rebuild his bridges to the show’s four million devoted fans.
Not one to leave a painful filling unprobed, or to tamp down a ratings builder, Mr. Letterman has been revisiting the on-going controversy throughout the week.
Last night’s Top Ten list was “Top Ten Ways John McCain Can Turn It Around”. As Top Ten lists go it may not be one of the strongest — but it does have its moments:
TOP TEN WAYS JOHN McCAIN CAN TURN IT AROUND
10. Try the old “I’ll vote for you if you vote for me” trick
9. Inspire America by jumping Straight Talk Express over Snake River Canyon
8. Change name to Jorack McBama
7. Start wearing a cape
6. Step one: send Bin Laden free tickets to Giants game. Step two: when he shows up in East Rutherford, New Jersey expecting to enjoy some big blue smashmouth football: gotcha sucka!
5. Sizzling tango with Cloris Leachman on “Dancing With The Stars”
4. Put more effort into budget plan, less effort into Facebook status updates
3. Point out his steady leadership got us through the Great Depression
2. Assure voters the only poll that matters is in his pants
1. Get Sarah Palin to illegally fire herself